Men Are Just Happier People

1 March 2011

NICKNAMES
  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
  • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, D!ckhead and Sh!t for Brains.
 
EATING OUT
  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
 
MONEY
  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
 
BATHROOMS
  • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
  • The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
 
ARGUMENTS
  • A woman has the last word in any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
FUTURE
  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 
SUCCESS
  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 
MARRIAGE
  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
 
DRESSING UP
  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
  • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
 
NATURAL
  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
 
OFFSPRING
  • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams..
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 No wonder men are happier…………!!Happy Man

  •  Your last name stays put.
  •  Chocolate is just another snack.
  •  You can never be pregnant.
  •  You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  •  You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
  •  You don’t have to stop and think of which way to  turn a nut on a bolt.
  •  Wrinkles add character.
  •  New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  •  One mood all the time.
  •  Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  •  A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  •  You can open all your own jars.
  •  If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  •  Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  •  You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  •  Everything on your face stays its original color.
  •  The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  •  You only have to shave your face and neck.
  •  You can play with toys all your life.
  •  One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons
  •  You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  •  You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
  •  You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
 
 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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