Men Are Just Happier People

1 March 2011

NICKNAMES
  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
  • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, D!ckhead and Sh!t for Brains.
 
EATING OUT
  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
 
MONEY
  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
 
BATHROOMS
  • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
  • The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
 
ARGUMENTS
  • A woman has the last word in any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
FUTURE
  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 
SUCCESS
  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 
MARRIAGE
  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
 
DRESSING UP
  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
  • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
 
NATURAL
  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
 
OFFSPRING
  • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams..
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 No wonder men are happier…………!!Happy Man

  •  Your last name stays put.
  •  Chocolate is just another snack.
  •  You can never be pregnant.
  •  You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  •  You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
  •  You don’t have to stop and think of which way to  turn a nut on a bolt.
  •  Wrinkles add character.
  •  New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  •  One mood all the time.
  •  Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  •  A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  •  You can open all your own jars.
  •  If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  •  Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  •  You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  •  Everything on your face stays its original color.
  •  The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  •  You only have to shave your face and neck.
  •  You can play with toys all your life.
  •  One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons
  •  You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  •  You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
  •  You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
 
 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

You may also like

Make a Retirement Plan

Most people when thinking about retirement ask ‘How much capital in super to I need?' This is a fair question but the wrong questions to start with. The first question is, how much income do we need to live and meet my retirement lifestyle goals?   The following...

read more

What you need to know about Superannuation in 2024

A brief guide to the new rules and how they affect you. Introduction Superannuation is one of the most important ways to save for your retirement. But the rules and regulations around it can be confusing and change frequently. That's why we've prepared this article to...

read more
Investment & Economic Snapshot April 2024

Investment & Economic Snapshot April 2024

As of April 2024 Highlights Risk aversion and moderating expectations for interest rate cuts pressure bond and equity markets. Australian and US inflation data releases came in higher than expected as services inflation remains elevated. Geopolitical tensions...

read more